Monday, February 22, 2010

Destined to be an Old Maid???

So I am sitting here in bed at 11:56pm just barely done with my nightly homework when I receive an email inviting me to yet ANOTHER facebook group of two people whom I know that are happily going to be married. Now this has nothing, well almost nothing to do with that couple, it has everything to do with the preconceived notion that society impresses upon young women today that there is a ticking time bomb waiting to explode and the longer you are single the closer you get to detonation. Since when did age 23 become the new "Old Maid"? Since when did wanting to finish college and be able to support myself as a strong, independent woman become the enemy and fighting force against motherhood and wifedom? Why is there this idea that you must get married in order to feel complete? I HATE all of these ideas, notions and concepts!

I am still trying to figure out who I am as an individual, what I want in life and how to accomplish those goals that I have and will set for myself. Until I can figure out who I am and who I want as an eternal mate it is ridiculous for me to search for this "perfect" person that I am supposed to find ASAP. How can I know who I want to spend the rest of my life with if I don't really know who I am?

Now besides the self-discovery aspect of my opinions and reasons for not wanting to get married right now I delved deeper into my psyche as well as modern society's to see if I could figure out what else might be behind the different opinion that I, and others my age, have. The truth is, selfishness is what drives those of us who do not want to get married right now and start having babies. I know that this is true within myself. I don't want the responsibility of taking care of another human being whether that is a husband or child. I enjoy being single right now and not having to shave my legs regularly if I don't want to or cook meals every night. There is a lot of responsibility attached to marriage and parenthood...responsibility I don't feel I am ready (or don't want ???) to take on yet.

So the questions I have to ask myself are...Is it wrong to want to be single and not have the world bearing down on my shoulders? Is it wrong not to want children anytime in the near future and even then it is a big maybe? Is it wrong to want to spend my prime adult years truly finding myself and figuring out what I want before trolling the streets for a man? Is it OK to like spending Saturday night with a good book and my dog curled up next to me? What is so confusing is that the answers I have to these questions and the answers society provide are in direct conflict. So the ultimate question is...What do I do about it? Do I continue to be true to myself and stick it to the world or do I begin to conform to society because it is much easier to go with the grain and not against it. I was raised to get the splinters instead of just sanding down the board as long as it is what I truly believe in my heart to be right...and I think that is what I will continue to do regardless of what others might think.

1 comment:

  1. I completely agree!! Though I am happily married and did marry at the ripe old age of 22... if I hadn't found HIM I would have no problem still being single and living my life. You gotta do what's right for you, and who cares what the norm is?? We've been married almost 2 years so you can just guess what question WE get a lot lately... and frankly, it's nobody's business when we plan to have kids or why we haven't had them yet! I know a lot of people think we are being completely selfish by enjoying this time alone and taking sweet vacations rather than popping them out one after another, but that's just what we wanna do. Call it selfish, but I call it living my life. So I am with you sister... screw everyone else and do whatcha want!